Spaghetti pasta with butternut squash

This is seriously easy. The thing is, Mr. and Mrs. America, to impress your Italian or your well-traveled friend, remove the pasta from its water when it's approximately 92.78 % done and dump it dripping with its water into the pan containing the simmering extraneous material, in this case butternut squash with fresh garlic. This slightly starchy water along with the starch on the surface of the pasta will form a thin sauce with the oil already in the pan. Add a little extra pasta water if you deem it insufficiently wet. Allow the pasta to continue cooking in the pan until approximately 95% done. I realize this runs short of what you might have already accepted, but it's the way of the world and you'll learn to prefer it. Of course, this cannot be done with fresh pasta. Add the cheese and herbs off the heat. Twirl the pasta onto a large fork and lift it across and tenderly place it onto a plate sliding out the fork for a spectacular slightly elevated presentation.

If children complain about the al dente pasta straining their tiny undeveloped toofies, and they will, then bend down so that your lips are level with their faces and speaking directly into their little ear say crisply and authoritatively, "SHUT UP YOU LITTLE TWERP AND EAT IT! Or possibly microwave it for the little darlings.