Baconburger, pan-fried bread

It would be better with crispy lettuce and juicy flavorful tomato and not bacon. 

But it would not be better with tasteless grocery store tomatoes. I don't know. It's just something about lettuce and tomato, the partial salad that's going on there, and I don't have any lettuce around. I have to walk two blocks to get some. I'm too lazy.

Oily and wet like a fat tortilla, like a large English muffin made of baking powder and not made with yeast.

The simplest of all breads but it sure is good. And just like that, bang, I'm back to not having any bread around the house. 

The bacon is excellent but too thick for a sandwich. It would be like a sandwich with pork jerky inside it. The fried pieces are sliced to chewable pieces.