Aioli is just mayonnaise with garlic added.
Breakfast, bacon, eggs, hash browns
Breakfast in nine images and no words. Except for these words and these words don't count.
Guacamole
The secret is equal part avocado and tomato.
The second secret is cumin and coriander.
The idea for this approach was lifted from a beginner Spanish textbook. It was illustrated with drawings, a little picture of an onion next to "cebolla," a drawing of a bulb of garlic next to "ajo," that sort of thing. Which makes its muy authentico-ness indisputable, and made it so that even a total illiterate able to decipher pictures could make it. Kind of like a Denny's menu. I've made it this way ever since, and it's incomparable. Now, that is not just me saying it. Everybody, and I mean everybody goes, "Bo, this is the best ... *swoon* ... guacamole I've ever tasted! " So eventually, over time, I became convinced.
* 50% avocado and 50% tomato by weight. Just estimate this.
* Gently squeeze the guts out of the tomato so the the dish isn't too wet. What to do with the juice? Drink it, of course.
* Gently squeeze the avocado through your fingers to achieve balance of lumpy and mushy. This cannot be achieved with a processor
* Go easy on the cumin, it's powerful. But don't leave it out.
* Go easy on the cumin, it's powerful. But don't leave it out.
* Lime to taste. Anything acid will do just fine. Lemon, Grapefruit juice, even vinegar, especially a light one like rice vinegar. Just get some acid in there, but lime is far and away the first choice.
* Jalapeño with care. These peppers vary widely in heat. Canned will do. Anything at all that is hot. Habanero sauce, tabasco sauce, chile flakes. Anything but chili powder, that stuff is gross -- it'll ruin your guacamole.
* Salt/pepper to taste
* Add the fresh cilantro, and BANG! day id iz. Cilantro, like cumin, is absolutely essential. They're two serious aromatics that speak directly of Mexico. To omit them would be a regrettable negligence and would do a great disservice to this national treasure of Mexico.
Both coriander, the ground root that is brown and cilantro, the live leafy green. Mexicans like a lot of cilantro while in America there are an awful lot of anticilantroites. You wouldn't believe what they say cilantro tastes like to them; wet socks, for example.
Who would even think of that?
Apparently their taste buds are messed up. It's genetic. And they just cannot handle cilantro.
Both coriander, the ground root that is brown and cilantro, the live leafy green. Mexicans like a lot of cilantro while in America there are an awful lot of anticilantroites. You wouldn't believe what they say cilantro tastes like to them; wet socks, for example.
Who would even think of that?
Apparently their taste buds are messed up. It's genetic. And they just cannot handle cilantro.
Pot roast
Granola
* salt
* brown sugar mixed with melted butter and vegetable oil
* corn syrup
* bag of trail mix
* chopped almonds and broken pecans
* coconut
* vanilla extract
* few tablespoons of whole wheat flour to assist clumpage
* few tablespoons water
Mix until slightly clumpy. Press into a lined pan. Bake at 350℉ for thirty minutes. Cool. Break apart. Photograph. Upload photograph. Tag photograph. Copy address of photograph. Enter blog post. Consume granola. Seek addiction therapy.
Roasted chicken salad
This dish, for instance, might look like a repeat but it never comes out the same way twice. This time I omitted garlic from the mayonnaise because I simply forgot, and added sugar. And nobody said, "Hey! This mayonnaise would be pretty good if it just had a little garlic in it" And do you know why? Because I was the only person here, that's why, and I'd be talking to myself, then wouldn't I? Used an apple in the salad because I'm long on apples right now. Used commercial pickle relish which is also sweet instead of my own relish, so the result is sweeter than usual. This dish as prepared here would appeal to children.
No nuts, no raisins, no tomato, none of the usual additions except Parmigiano Reggiano crumbled, which is a little salty. Ginger from a jar because my favorite neighborhood store was out of fresh ginger last time I visited. That caused a slight but detectable difference.
If you bought something similar from a deli, they'd have used generic mayonnaise from a #10 can and there's simply no comparison to home-made mayonnaise whipped up for the occasion. Also deli noodles would inevitably be overcooked. They'd use pre-shredded Parmigiano of poor quality, or none at all to keep down cost. They'd probably use boiled chicken. Dehydrated onion, or the kind that stings your tongue. See how all that would resemble chicken salad but totally fail in a contest with this? Of course you do. Plus this is fun to make.
Pasta alfredo primavera carbonara
There is no such thing. And these noodles are too thin.
Frankly, I don't know what to call this. All I know is it's simply the most delicious pasta dish I've ever tasted. My lunch date agreed. She helped make it. It's a bit of everything all at once, and it's simply outstanding. Perhaps complexly outstanding. It starts with great ingredients.
* Hand made pasta noodles using semolina and whole grain home-milled flour coated, after being cooked, with a boat load of grated parmigiano reggiano. OK fine. Maybe half a boat load. A small boat. A toy boat. Half a toy boat full, how's that then?
* Alfredo sauce with garlic, habanero flakes, nutmeg and grated parmigiano reggiano.
* Chubby snow peas, yellow sweet pepper, sweet onion chopped roughly and cooked briefly in microwave.
* Fresh tomato, fresh basil
* Fresh egg, coddled briefly in acidified hot swirling pasta water.
The yolk of the warm egg which sits atop a nest of pasta mixed with vegetables, forms a rich sauce secondary to the Alfredo sauce that was poured directly onto the plate. So you end up with herbaceous vegetable laden pasta layered between rich sauces. Extraordinary. I was so sad when it was all gone. I wanted to lick my plate, but that would have been rude and there's always tomorrow.
When I make this again I'll avoid 50% milled flour and 50% semolina-- too fragile. Better to use something like 25% milled, 25% AP flour, 50% semolina. Not better tasting, but better cohesion and tensile noodle strength. This is true no matter what width the pasta is cut.
Blueberry pancakes
.
Didn't measure anything. That would have taken all the fun out of it, now, wouldn't it? Here's how it goes, and it goes as quickly as describing it goes:
You know you need an egg but only one. This is for one person. Enough sour cream you imagine will activate approximately one teaspoon of baking soda, which turns out to be a few tablespoons of sour cream. Enough milk to create the volume you imagine will produce three medium pancakes. Sufficient flour to thicken all that liquid, added by the tablespoon to a thickness you visualize spreading on the surface of a pan. Salt, because flour is completely blah without it. Keep in mind you're using baking soda which is also a form of salt so take care to avoid doubling down on the whole salt thing. Sweetener of some sort because pancakes are supposed to be yummy and remind you of the sweet carefree halcyon days of childhood. Mix in the flour carelessly and loosely after all the liquid is mixed thoroughly -- don't want to unravel gluten proteins. Here, I used low-protein flour for ultimate fluffiness and softness. AP flour works fine. Bread flour is undesirable for this. Add the baking soda and powder last. Mix with a spoon. Ta daaaaa.
Lumps are perfectly fine. They don't hurt a thing. They prove you are master of all you survey, and lumps are evidence that you are not neurotic.
Add the blueberries after the batter is poured in the pan otherwise they sink, they thaw, they melt, they bleed all through the batter and make an unsightly mess. If you feel you must add them to the batter before pouring into the pan, then coat them with flour. That'll help to suspend them within the batter, information useful for biscuits, cakes, and cupcakes.
Apple turnover
With:
* Grand Marnier
* Vanilla extract
* cinnamon
* allspice
* cranberries
* pecans
* whipped cream foam out of a can because sometimes I like slumming it.
Crust made carelessly and quickly by rubbing butter and a tablespoon of lard into low protein sifted flour with a spot of sugar and cinnamon. Cold water, chilled, pressed out, trimmed folded around a pile of filling, 30 minutes in tiny convection oven at 400℉.
Coleslaw enhanced
* celery
* sweet peppers
* apple
* parmigiano reggiano, da KING of a da 'ard cheezez.
* mayonnaise with garlic and ginger
American fried rice
Hot with habanero pepper flakes (grown on window sill), salty with fish sauce which is made from anchovy, sweet by the addition of small amount of brown sugar, tart with unique flavor of pineapple. Sour with unfresh white wine gone off. Flavor blasted with cumin because I just bought a new jar and felt like using some. Aromatic with basil because the cilantro I have is ready to toss out. All this at once! Like a party gotten all rowdy and out of control right there in your mouth.
White rice cooked the usual way; 25 minute on low simmer, 10 minutes off heat, covered throughout. This time it's not particularly sticky because I didn't intend to eat it with chopsticks, and looseness achieved by frying the grain in a Tablespoon of oil for a few minutes before starting off
Mushrooms in quantity. Onion, garlic, chubby hybrid snow peas, small harmless colored peppers, fresh pineapple, and of course, roasted chicken previously frozen the natural result of producing home-made chicken broth.
Shape with a moistened container like a tea cup or a bowl.
What? Want to know how to pull this off with the breeziness of a master chef? Fine.
Start the rice. You now have 25 minutes to prepare whatever ingredients you chose to include, which is more time than you need. Make sure you have a comic book or internet connection to keep you entertained for the additional minutes. Bored cooks tend toward meanness. Chop everything. Collect your flavorings. Decide if you want to include an egg or not. Go through all the flavors that can hit your tongue and imagine how you intend to cover them, taking care not to accidentally double down. For instance, salt could be soy sauce, fish sauce, or, er, salt. Sweetness could be mirin sauce, cane sugar, turbinado sugar, Splenda™, brown sugar, white sugar, honey. See what's going on here? You'll never make this dish the same way twice. Get the vegetables together. They can be fresh or frozen. Use whatever you have. Choose a protein, it can be anything, even tofu or beans. For my very first stir fry when I was ten years old I used a chopped up hot dog. Our Asian housekeeper, who was the person who taught me, thought that was hilarious. My flavoring was catsup which turned the whole mass pink and oddly overly sweet, she thought that was hilarious too. Turns out, she adopted my choices. Well, at our house anyway.
When you have four minutes remaining for the rice to finish steaming off the heat, begin heating the vegetables as a stir fry. The longest cooking vegetables first. Blast everything on high then abruptly kill the heat once they're all done which should be just a few minutes. This time, I used a large heavy pot rather than a large pan or a wok because I'm tired of things spilling out over the edges or flying all over the kitchen, and because I just don't care. And it's not like I was on television or anything. The last thing added is the rice freshly opened from the steaming pot or an egg worked into the mass. That is all. It's fun!
Huevos rancheros
<--- a="" amalgam="" america.="" america="" american.="" american="" an="" and="" are="" be="" because="" before="" belgium="" but="" central="" cheeses="" cognitives="" columbus="" cook="" did="" dish="" div="" do="" eggs="" english.="" europe="" few="" for="" french="" fries="" from="" gave="" ha.="" ha="" had.="" here="" huevos="" i="" in="" ingredients.="" instead="" is="" it="" italian="" kills="" knows="" like="" m="" me.="" mexican="" names="" new="" notice="" of="" originates="" potatoes="" preeminently="" ranch-style="" rancheros="" re="" s="" see="" so="" spanish="" technique="" that="" the="" themselves="" there="" therefore="" they="" to="" two="" unknown="" used="" vegetables="" we="" what="" why.="" why="" with="" world="" you="">
<--- a="" amalgam="" america.="" america="" american.="" american="" an="" and="" are="" be="" because="" before="" belgium="" but="" central="" cheeses="" cognitives="" columbus="" cook="" did="" dish="" div="" do="" eggs="" english.="" europe="" few="" for="" french="" fries="" from="" gave="" ha.="" ha="" had.="" here="" huevos="" i="" in="" ingredients.="" instead="" is="" it="" italian="" kills="" knows="" like="" m="" me.="" mexican="" names="" new="" notice="" of="" originates="" potatoes="" preeminently="" ranch-style="" rancheros="" re="" s="" see="" so="" spanish="" technique="" that="" the="" themselves="" there="" therefore="" they="" to="" two="" unknown="" used="" vegetables="" we="" what="" why.="" why="" with="" world="" you="">Have you ever seen huevos rancheros piled this high?
The chief feature of this dish is the pork chili that fills the plate. It's key flavor component, aside from the pork and chilis and the tomato and the tomatillo and the large amount of onion and garlic is cumin, but only a trace amount of that because it's so strong, about 1/2 teaspoon for a huge pot of chile.
chile = the fruit of so-called pepper plants of which there is wide variety and degrees of hotness. No less than five different types of chilis were used for the above dish. Two cans of prepared Anaheim for mild vegetable chili flavor, a small package of frozen Hatch for different chili flavor and increased heat, procured from roadside vendor where they roast them right there, a small can of jalapeño for a sharp chili flavor and even greater heat, dried habeñero flakes in small amount for different deep flavor and extreme heat, plus a tablespoon of Tabasco™ sauce, for yet another chili flavor and slightly different kind of heat and with vinegar in its processing. The resulting complexity of the various chili flavors and heats is outstanding.
Chili = the stew made from chiles.
No proprietary chile powder was used for that ^^^ up there. I hate that stuff. It's awful. It always gives me such heartburn. I keep trying it and end up tossing out the whole little jar. Even those little packages of taco mix are all totally gross. The most direct way of ruining a meat-based dish, with the intention of making it hot, in imitation of south of the border, that I can think of. Best to just stick with specific chiles and mix them yourself with your own herbs and spices. Better still to grow your own chiles, dry them, and render specific species to powder.
They're fun to grow. You should try it. Some chiles grow upward and others hang down. They self-pollinate.
chile = the fruit of so-called pepper plants of which there is wide variety and degrees of hotness. No less than five different types of chilis were used for the above dish. Two cans of prepared Anaheim for mild vegetable chili flavor, a small package of frozen Hatch for different chili flavor and increased heat, procured from roadside vendor where they roast them right there, a small can of jalapeño for a sharp chili flavor and even greater heat, dried habeñero flakes in small amount for different deep flavor and extreme heat, plus a tablespoon of Tabasco™ sauce, for yet another chili flavor and slightly different kind of heat and with vinegar in its processing. The resulting complexity of the various chili flavors and heats is outstanding.
Chili = the stew made from chiles.
No proprietary chile powder was used for that ^^^ up there. I hate that stuff. It's awful. It always gives me such heartburn. I keep trying it and end up tossing out the whole little jar. Even those little packages of taco mix are all totally gross. The most direct way of ruining a meat-based dish, with the intention of making it hot, in imitation of south of the border, that I can think of. Best to just stick with specific chiles and mix them yourself with your own herbs and spices. Better still to grow your own chiles, dry them, and render specific species to powder.
They're fun to grow. You should try it. Some chiles grow upward and others hang down. They self-pollinate.
Hotdogs and hotdog buns
All beef wieners. For whatever that's worth.
I go next door to Burger Fi and get a top-end hotdog made from Wagyu beef that cost a million dollars per hotdog and they serve it on a cheapskate foam-bun that dissolves and falls apart as you are eating it.
But not these.
And those guys who win hotdog eating contests by sticking the buns in a glass of water to turn them into wispy stingy dough-molecules wouldn't get nearly as far with these. My buns are substantial. My buns are firm. My buns are muscular, not bubbles. What were we talking about?
Buns!
I go next door to Burger Fi and get a top-end hotdog made from Wagyu beef that cost a million dollars per hotdog and they serve it on a cheapskate foam-bun that dissolves and falls apart as you are eating it.
But not these.
And those guys who win hotdog eating contests by sticking the buns in a glass of water to turn them into wispy stingy dough-molecules wouldn't get nearly as far with these. My buns are substantial. My buns are firm. My buns are muscular, not bubbles. What were we talking about?
Buns!