French fries, 1/4 lb hamburger patty

 

Barry Sears says in his Zone diet books that men can eat four meals each day containing .25 lb of ground beef. That's one pound of beef each day, and lose weight. 

But that is way too much beef for me. Come on. Be realistic.

I should probably mention the potato was microwaved for six minutes without poking holes. 

Then the microwave beeped done but I was down. I heard it beep like six times possibly thirty. A beep then a long pause then another beep. I kept thinking, "man, that's annoying." Finally I dragged myself up and the potato was room temperature.

Time. Is that even a thing? 

Brought a pot of oil to 350℉ which in Celsius is medium-hot. 

Peeled the cooked potato then cut it into French fries. Incidentally, I just now watched a successful sushi chef with a large online following and who I like very much cut French fries the stupidest way possible. The short way. The dumbest way. Then he fried them once, for short greasy limp stupid French fries that looked horrible from afar and even worse close up. And I'm sitting here wondering if I can even believe what I am seeing. He has a thousand videos but his French fry video is the worst.

These fries cooked up perfectly. Honestly, for the first time since I've lived here. I was beginning to think it is not possible one mile up, to get French fries like I did in Louisiana. Double-fry method. Triple-fry method. When the peel is pulled off and the potato is cut they are a bit fuzzy with dryish sticky starch. That fries beautifully. Light crisp crunchy with tender interior that is already cooked so dehydrates a bit. French fries do not get better than this.

And that makes me want to do it again.

Pepperoni pizza fail

Pan-fried potato, mixed green vegetables, hamburger patty w/American cheese

Microwaved for 6 minutes without poking any holes into the potato. 

I learned from watching so many potato-related videos that green underneath the skin indicates the storage went a bit warm. Potatoes are nightshades. Nightshades are poisonous. This green stuff that occurs under compromised storage can get you in trouble with nightshade poisoning. I do not know if this is true. It is what I saw in potato-related videos.

At a party a few years ago my friends ate their potato skins with green underneath them anyway and nothing happened to them. 

Except that every single one of them voted the wrong way and did so with extreme sanctimony, and that means they are all now resolutely politically retarded. 

Every last one of them. 

I live in an insanely politically stupid city.

Denver.

So let this be a warning. Eating potatoes with green underneath the skin can make you 100% sanctimoniously politically retarded. And there will be no talking sense to you.

None of the Instacart picker/drivers can find semolina in one particular store. 

So I bet them each $20.00 that they cannot find it. 

Then paid them $20.00 anyway for doing all that tedious shopping, checking out, loading, delivering, re-loading, and now sometimes even unloading.

But Jeremy knew right were semolina is placed in that store. This was easy for him. When he arrived here with the goods, I gave $20.00 for finding the semolina (or for knowing where it is) and another $20.00 for all the rest of the crap he went through to bring this stuff to me. From his p.o.v. a rather good take. An unfair win to his advantage. He behaved extremely grateful. He behaved surprised with the windfall. 

But everything was that efficient. These runners are good. I would not be so good as they are. I would be greatly annoyed with all the piddling crap and disinclined to choose the best of all things one-by-one. But these kids really do go for it. I've come to enjoy working with them. There have been so many now I believe that I know their type. Reliably, their enthusiasm, their drive, their energy are all exemplary. The people who choose this path to make extra money are all very help-oriented type people. I fit their help-profile precisely. And this service is fantastic and inexpensive. So long as you don't care about not seeing all the other stuff that the store might have on special or whatever. 

I gave Jeremy one of the chile pepper plants that I am growing in 4" pots under the Aerogarden lights. Surprisingly, he was delighted to have it. Then I told him that the peppers grow to the shape of wrinkled red penises. Peter Peppers.  I thought that would put him off but instead it made him even more delighted. I love having these people around. 

Juice; pineapple, celery, cucumber

Celery juice is actually a bit bitter. I was hoping the pineapple would overwhelm the celery but it fails. Pineapple almost fixes it but it only goes half way. That means cut the celery in half.

Maybe honey can repair the taste of this bitter celery. I don't know. I am not enjoying this.

Louisiana honey over eggs and bacon

 

The honey is dark and deep and broad and overwhelming a bit weirdly incorporating all manner of flora. Things that bloom that you've never heard of. Things you would not plant. That just happen to be there. Like a jungle. Just look at the variety of plants immediately outside one of their rows of hive boxes, a true jungle of low-level flowering weeds. 

This place is west of New Orleans in the center of Louisiana near the bottom of the state. 

Harsh compared with gentler honey. Complex compared with the one-note types. You might think it nice to take a stroll through the jungle one time then right off the heat sets in and the moisture takes over, you can feel the bacteria growing on your own body, insects and bat poop and snakes and thorns, vines with nothing but tiny spikes on them interwoven as random strung together killer basketry. The bites, the stings, the venom, the sap, the extrusions, the poisonous creatures that live in their bromeliad pools consuming insects that flew in there. Rats, lizards, spiders, ticks, various fungus. It's all in the honey. 

And that's a bit shocking. All that's a bit thick. All that coats the inside of your mouth with darkness entirely as a tropical storm slams with great pressure, then as you swallow the intensity fades with remnant portions appearing, Iris brevicaulis ringing my mouth along the edges of my gums, itea virginica under my tongue, Phlox divaricata in my cheeks, Rhododendron viscosum fades from the roof of my mouth. It is a riot. That identifies as it fades. I am not ready for this cacophonous honey.

But what if I oil it down and protein it up? What if it is not the predominate flavor? What if I set the honey with things that have their own deep flavors? What if the honey must play second fiddle, or third. Huh? Then what?

What if all that is just a component? Your sweetener so complex as this. I think this honey will add excellence to anything.  

Blanched cole slaw with pineapple, pork loin chop

* cabbage

* carrot

* onion

* entire pot of boiling water poured over the entire bowl of vegetables and covered for five minutes.

* rice vinegar

* soy sauce

* sugar

* fish sauce

* toasted sesame seed oil

* pineapple juice

* heated to boiling

* blanched vegetables.

* sauce added. It absorbed the whole thing.

* pineapple added

Curtido. A favorite of El Salvador. Intended to be slightly fermented but mine is not. Some recipes call for pineapple vinegar while I am using fresh pineapple. It's not the same thing but it is based on their idea. I didn't add nearly enough salt to allow this to ferment. 

The simple little pork chop is excellent.

Macaroni and cheese with bacon and jalapeño

 

Prepared against the instructions on the macaroni box.

The pasta does not cook so long. With far less water than usual. The idea is for the water to run out as it is cooking. To be replaced with milk. Enough milk to be extra runny. Then cheese blended in and then butter blended in and then off the heat an egg whipped in continuously so that egg does not solidify, rather, with more heat if necessary, stir the egg on increased heat until the whole thing thickens.

This is very good. Great cheese. Great bacon. Zero-capsaicin jalapeño.  

Apple, cheddar cheese, pecans, dill pickle, ham

 

Milkshake; banana, vanilla, malt

Green vegetables in garlic butter and olive oil with homemade fettuccine

Honey on biscuits with ham and eggs

The thing is about honey.

I made a mistake. 

Split pork chop, buttered noodles, buttered green beans

Unbelievably dry.

Wrapped and left to deteriorate.

Returned twenty minutes later and still dry but now evenly pliable and no longer crumbly.

I love it when a plan comes together.

My body wants salt and butter so that's what I gave it. Lots of salt and lots of butter. Good butter too. Except it's got no salt. So, double the salt to compensate this shortcoming. 

My lips are buttery.

Come over here and kiss me. Feel how buttery my lips are. This is the best chapstick ever.

Carrot cake, vanilla ice cream, tea with cream and butter and sugar

 

I do not know how this carrot cake is still alive. It's been on the counter this whole time. It is still moist and it still tastes very good. This must be the miracle of the glass dome.

Icing is scraped off and put into the tea and that changes everything. Now with butter and cream cheese and vanilla, the tea has actual body. 

Orange

The way this orange behaves reminds me of bees. 

Why do the bees march into the box? 

1) The box contains propolis from previous bees, glue material that adheres their hive. The odor is attractive to bees. Much better than the branch in the rain.

2) The box contains the queen bee (in a tiny cage) producing her pheromones that the bees detect. The bees need to be near her.

3) Worker bees raise their butts at the entrance and release the chemical signal and fan it out with their wings that says, "this is the place." To humans this bee-chemical smells like lemongrass.

4) JP made the branch even less attractive with smoke and chemical repulser. 

So, JP made the branch unattractive two ways and made the box attractive two ways. 

Skip to two minutes. JP talks quite a lot.