Out here in the Outback we like to suck the guts out of kiwis instead of peeling them. It signifies we are rough tough no-nonsense guys whose knives are bigger than your knives.
I ate this right out of the box. Can you believe that?
The thing is, Jennifer came over today and caught me all up. I cannot go around messing up plates and leaving piles of dishes all over the place like I might have possibly already done. That would be rude.
I can hit the spacebar on this laptop with the right thumb and not feel a thing but I cannot push in the microwave button with the same thumb. I'm all, "etai-y-o-o-o!" Apparently I regress to age 11.
I clipped my nails that the Jell-O grew out quickly. The left hand can help the right hand to trim the left toes but it cannot help the injured hand to trim the nails on the left hand. The injured hand is on its own. That's why it took so long. The pain had to diminish sufficiently to be tolerable. But still quite painful. It got down to a war between the madness of long nails and the madness of pain. Each fingernail takes three clips. Each clip is an incredible stab of pain in an injured hand
Etai-y-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-snip
Etai-y-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-snip
Etai-y-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-snip
That's one finger. Four more to go. Is this torture worth it? Yes.
I am going to miss 2020. Know why?
It's the cutest little year in sign language. You say "20" twice. I do it with my wrist held firmly in place and my index finger reaching out with my thumb to smash a fruit fly. Twice. Sort of comical. Boink-boink. It's the same sign for "bird," indicating the beak of a bird. Bird beak twice. Peep-peep, like a little chicken. I do it sideways, others do it forward. So how do you know the difference between 2020 and bird? Context. What are you a dummkopf? You never get those two mixed up. Never.
Except 20 is already peep-peep, so for proper 2020 you need peep-peep-peep-peep.
That's why I do a kill-a-fruitfly movement instead of a peep, like the whole peep moves to the side to smash that little fruit fly and drag it in. And if you move your wrist with it then it really moves a lot. But I keep my wrist held solidly, a finger spelled number, not a word. This solid wrist thing for spelling is one of the things that distinguishes my fingerspelling. The hand is held there solidly with the configuration changing, no other movement, like an IBM Selectric typewriter. It's awesome. No goofing around. And when you see it you go, "Holy crap! That guy is a serious finger speller. This is like typographical."
2021 will be peep-peep-gun-click. It occurs so fast all you see is an "L" but that tiny movement of thumb plus context tells you the guy just said 2021.
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