Eggs, bacon, hashed browns

There is a distressing lack of toast and jam, orange juice milk or coffee in this incomplete breakfast. There is no garnish, no orange slice or melon, no strawberry or anything light and untreated, nothing for brightness, pH, or color, nothing just picked washed and eaten. It is about cooking the worst you can do and yet so delicious, so there it is, the worst of the best of the worst.  

The worst elements of the best tasting breakfast among the worst of available world-wide treatments of breakfast. That's my opi onion and I'm sticky with it.

F of the fs

One two, one two, and trough and through

The annealed blade snapped whip and whap

Impaled twice and slit and sliced

Then dumped into hot fat.

Hashed brown potato, chicken breast, poblano chile

Dragged out the Cuisinart to shred the potato, rinsed in water to rid surface starch. Sometimes that starch is wanted to hold the shreds together like glue. But I like them crisped. Water is dripped in to create sufficient steam to cook the potato through then left to evaporate and the surface dehydrated and crisped.

Potato salad, iceberg lettuce

Sliced through and microwaved to dry it out then cut completely open before it can glue itself back together.

Chicken salad

Bow-tie pasta magically materialized by wishing for it very hard. 

This is a dill pickle. A sweet one would be better. Whoever invented dill pickles was a sourpuss.

Honey to compensate for the sour pickle.

This is the first time I bought commercial mayonnaise in what must be five years. It is better than I remember it. I ate a teaspoonful. I overestimated a little bit, by 100%. 

Browned in oil. Then water added, covered to steam. The fond and the oil and liquid and the seasoning that sloughs forms a loose sauce. This photo is showing the liquid in the pot.

The chicken stays moist because it was cooked quickly and briefly and cooled in the liquid. Shredded, it takes the form of a string mop and absorbs every trace of remaining liquid, fat, and seasoning that was added. 

As cooking technique goes, this is what separates the men from the boys. 

And the women from the girls, and the men from the women and the boys from the girls until everyone is left segregated by chicken-moisture-retaining skill, age and sex.