Breakfast, bacon, eggs, hash brown potatoes

Typical American breakfast, minus buttered toasted bread with jam. (I have a very nice toaster, a common device seen in every household, but I spurn commercial sliced bread and I do not care for the silly thing sitting there idly all the time on the countertop using up its useless footprint and hogging an outlet insouciantly, so I put it away. Same thing with a coffee maker and espresso machine. I'm weird that way.) You will see this meal served at home tables, diners and cafes throughout the land, north and south, east and west, and most certainly the middle where I'm at. 

One of the jumbo eggs seemed heavy, the second jumbo egg less heavy, so I weighed them. One weighed 80g. or avoirdupois 2+3/4oz. The lighter one weighed 68g. or  2+3/8oz. So that's 22g or 3/8oz. difference which is almost half an ounce which is a lot when we're talking about just two + ounces. 

When I cracked open the heavy jumbo egg two yolks plopped out. 

Woohoo! *glees* , *does the happy double-yolk dance* , *drums the countertop with the spatula*, *makes a joyful clamor* , *creates doubt about sanity*. 

The bacon is baked in the microwave/convection combo oven on high convection for 15 minutes. 

The potato is Yukon gold which is probably an in between starchy and waxy type. It was shredded by machine because that makes better potato shreds than a box grater. The shreds were rinsed, blanched in hot water, frozen, then fried. All those extra steps had nearly zero effect on the result. They were alright, but they were not what I was imagining they would be, all toasty on the outside and tender on the inside. They were almost there but not quite. But I'll tell you, I seasoned them heavily by toasting whole cumin seed along with fennel seed. Then added an excess of coarsely cracked black pepper and mixed chile flakes, with coarse sea salt and granulated garlic. Then cooked all that seasoning first with sliced onion. Wow! My dad would love this for a radical change of pace. Why, it's enough to make you forget you're eating stupid dull bland boring starchy potatoes. 

Poached eggs, hash brown potatoes

I wonder why vegetables are not more popular for breakfasts. This confounds me. Doesn't this look delicious? 

All of the celebrity chefs concur that Italian parsley tastes better than regular curly parsley, so that is what we see them use exclusively. This is the giant version of Italian parsley, and frankly, I find it to be too bitter. Me no likey bitter. So that does it! After this batch I'm switching to regular parsley. 

I tried something different this time with the potatoes. One potato, smallish for an Idaho Russet type, peeled then grated with a box grater directly into the sink filled 1/3 with cold water. The water clouded making visible the surface starch removed. Collected and pressed through a strainer then dumped into a bowl with seasoned melted butter and olive oil, along with half a white onion. 

So there's that.

The eggs were cracked into a ramekin and held while a small pan of water was brought to a boil. The same small pan that would fry an egg. The smallest pan. The water in the pan contained a lot of salt for that amount of water, probably one half teaspoon of kosher salt flakes, along with more cider vinegar than you might imagine, possibly up to two tablespoons. Those two things are necessary to hold together the albumen. Without salt AND vinegar, the egg white will spread throughout the water like a spreading maniacal egg white Bedouin that has completely lost all direction in life. No, wait, wait, wait. Spreadier than that. Without salt AND vinegar the egg white spreads like Paris Hilton spreads in 1 Night in Paris, a total mess. Dropped into acidulated brine like this, the white so tightens, in fact, apparently appalled at the hostile environment and recoiled in horror, that the egg white resists cooking through. Obviously, in simmering water the cooking temperature can not exceed 212℉ / 100℃, that is the whole point, even less at a mile altitude, 200℉ / 94℃. Cooking can be hastened then by spooning the simmering water over the white, in this case as above ↑ avoiding the yolk. For ART!

[Poached eggs can be lifted with a slotted spoon and transferred to a bowl of cold water to hold for hours. The salted vinegar water can be reused for poaching more eggs. (Alternately, a greater quantity of eggs can be poached thusly in the oven within a bain Marie.) For serving, the eggs can be gently reheated by lifting into hot water for a few seconds and -- BANG! --there it is, a dozen or more poached eggs all at once. Were you to pull this off for a brunch, you will be showered with accolades, elevated to hero status on the spot and paraded around on the shoulders of your peers, amongst much clamor and celebration. So be ready for all that.]

Hashed browned potatoes, two fried eggs

My stomach is bulging out like Santa Clause.

A single Russet potato pealed and shredded in the Cuisinart, rinsed and spun like a salad. Fried in 50%/50% butter/olive oil on medium. Flipped like a pancake. And, Boy, is it ever good.