Black bean crackers

Now I ask you, where are you going to find crackers made of beans? Somewhere undoubtedly, but I do not know where. I can't see them as a viably mass-marketed item, and that is a shame because they're probably even good for you. 

The epoxy applied to fix the blade didn't hold past the third grinding session. 

:-(  

That means I have to glue it again. Maybe I should have bought the Gorilla Glue™, and I will if this epoxy fails again. In the meantime, this snag compelled me to drag out the Nutrimill™ even though there was only a single cup and a half left to mill. Now I have to clean it. 

It does work splendidly. Plus I can mix the dough right there in the Nutrimill bowl, since as I said, I already have to clean it. I didn't tuck it in all the way and it blew bean dust on the tomatoes before I could shove the bowl all the way back. That's only the fourth time that happened, you would think I had learned by now. 

Salt, cumin, garlic powder, and enough olive oil to bring the flour to a crumbly mixture like wet sand. A test clump confirmed enough liquid fat. The fat could have been anything, butter, melted Crisco™, bacon fat, lard, coconut oil, vegetable oil, nut oil, anything at all. 

Water was added in increments to bring the dough together so that it holds. This dough was insufficiently cohesive so I added a handful of A/P flour and enough water to hydrate, but that also increased the volume beyond what I had originally intended and it diluted the spices. I didn't worry about any of that. I just proceeded without making any further adjustments. 

I learned that it is much easier to roll out when the dough is made a little on the wet side, and that wetness does not interfere in any other way. The only difference is the crackers must bake slightly longer at a slightly lower temperature to dehydrate them without burning. So there is a feel to the whole thing, and you are presented with choices that determine the process and the outcome. Luckily there is a broad margin for error and for variations, and whatever the outcome you can always proclaim you meant to do that. 

Incidentally, one time I would like to see the chefs on Food Network's Chopped stand behind their creations fiercely. Now that would be entertainment. If just one would say one day to the nit-picking judges something like, "FINE! Let me see YOU make something like you describe in the time that was given me with the kind of crap-basket like this! I've seen you on your own show taking your sweet time, posing for the camera, trying to be sensual as possible for a cow, luxuriating with a prepared script and with the convenience of multiple takes, Bitch." 

Another judge berated a chef for including a tiny amount of diced raw onions. "I told you I do not like onions and there you are putting them on the dish. I cannot believe you would ignore a thing like that. How can you expect to survive as a chef when you do not respond to customer's preferences?" 

I wanted so badly for that chef to say, "Then pick them off, little boy. You're supposed to be a JUDGE here not a paying customer! You call yourself a judge? Really. A judge who mewls like a spoiled little brat because he doesn't like raw onions?  I cannot value your insanely narrow opinions, so take your ten thousand dollars and PISS OFF, little pip squeek."

That would be fun.

The dough was trimmed and scored with a bench scraper, handy little tool. Because the dough was a little wet, and not much flour was sprinkled on the Silpat™, the dough tended to stick to it, which helped rolling. Nothing sticks when it bakes. The individual crackers shrunk before the crackers were fully dehydrated and so still a little stuck to the Silpat, causing them to break apart on their own. I forgot to dock this first batch. 

A bag of beans, two cups, milled, with flour sufficient, two handfuls, to make the dough sticky, I would say, 2.5 cups total bean and wheat flour, about 1/3 cup olive oil, and about 3/4 cup water. 

My powder is exceedingly dry, your powders may take up less liquid.  One cup of powder + liquid covers one Silpat, so one batch in the oven. This created three dough balls weighing 12.5 ounces each. Rolled thin to the edges of the Silpat which then created enough scrap for a fourth dough ball. So finally four batches into the oven. That is twice what I intended, and by the fourth batch I had quite enough of the whole business. This is fun to do, a batch here and there, but I am telling you, if this were a job, I would quit the first day.