turkey, cheddar, jalapeño omelet.

Hey Omelet, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind hey, Omelet!

How come these omelets are always so wrinkly?

Well. You see, it's the way they are made.

A non-stick pan is brought up to moderate temperature and a pat of butter popped into it. The butter melts and the pan tipped all around to distribute the browning butter. So what you got there is beurre nicoise, "nut" colored butter.

Then beaten egg is poured into the pan and it begins to solidify right away on the bottom but not the top. So a fork is used to gently pull solidified egg toward the center of the pan without even touching the pan with the fork tines. From all cardinal directions, north, south, east and west, were the pan a compass. Liquid egg pours into the vacated areas assisted by tipping the pan or pushing it with the fork. Do that same thing again and egg really builds up in the center while remaining fairly thin at the edges. 

If the mass of pilled congealed egg were lifted then liquid egg could pour underneath it for wrinkle avoidance, but the fork cannot do that because the mass is too large for a fork and the mass too wobbly and unsteady, and there's not quite enough liquid egg. The whole thing goes in less than a minute. No time to mess around lifting congealed egg. 

The result is a light puffed up mass of gently scrambled eggs that were not abused nor overcooked and barely connected.

The ingredients inside are added off the heat. Or else the omelet would overcook. 

And there's nothing worse for eggs than to overcook them. That is a cardinal culinary sin.

Nobody makes omelets this good. They just don't. That's right. I said it. I am the best omelet maker I've ever met. And I get privately disgusted watching professional omelet makers at work. I mock them in my mind. I know exactly why their omelets are inferior and the best tasting most beautiful and most satisfying omelets come from me. And when I shed these mortal coils that omelet éclat goes with me.

No comments:

Blog Archive