Fruit, Jello

I do not understand why this amazing product is so thoroughly and sorely maligned on the internet and in books, as in James Lileke's The Gallery of Regrettable Foods, which you can buy used on Amazon for $3.20. The fall of Western civilization traced through Jello ads, Jello killed the dinosaurs, terrorists encase Sears Tower in Jello, Jello myths debunked on Snopes (it's made from bones and hides, not hooves), Jello shots being a certain indicator of white trashiness, all this leveled against an amazing product.

Jello seems like such a great idea. And so does Jello fruit cups, so what gives? How can its aspicy sugary goodness be denied?

The other day I was eating a bowl of mixed fruit and thinking, "This would be a lot better if it were just held together with Jello." But not canned fruit and not thoroughly encased in shimmering Jello like they do in school cafeterias and in hospitals. How 'bout if solid Jello was used as a base with a second layer holding the edges of fruit that is then covered with more fruit unconnected to the Jello. Doesn't that sound great? Solid Jello. That right there is funny.

I am hopeless, and probably untrainable because I like this.