No es bueno.
I wanted to erase the memory of the previous failed pizza and ended up with another failed pizza.
What went wrong? Again.
I don't know.
It's like the cosmos is punishing me by pulling my natural talent and my insouciant mad skillz and leaving it to me to figure out how I offended the cosmos.
They both used a rather generic bread flour.
Perhaps I should throw it away and buy artisanal flour and buy carefully crafted flour instead.
They both used pre-shredded mozzarella.
Perhaps I should eschew pre-shredded cheese forever.
Maybe I should use only top deli ingredients. No careless salami from packages. No regular bratwurst sausages.
Maybe I should get back to basics and choose each element carefully. Age my dough. Use proven cheese. Buy genuine sauce. Quit messing around.
Maybe I should pray.
I can do that right now.
Here goes.
Dear sweet tender Lord,
Please smite these pizza demons.
Send them to wander mindless in legions
Cause their flesh to boil and blister.
With rotting organs treated by anal clyster.
Make their hair fall out and waste.
Please, sweet tender Lord do these things with haste.
Jesus: "Sorry, Pal. No imprecatory prayers accepted. Figure out your own pizzas."
2 comments:
Too much fat in Salami, although I do enjoy a fried salami on rye occasionally. Check out Cook's Country, where they did a thin crust Chicago pizza. They added olive oil to the dough although i heard it's more authentic to use corn oil.
I'm on a low carb kick for the winter so the only kind of pizza I can eat is pizza soup, which is basically all the ingredients except the crust. Somewhat like French onion soup.
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