BurgerFi

BurgerFi, a new place that opened recently next door. There is only one BurgerFi outlet in Colorado presently, apparently five more are in planning.

Two single cheeseburgers, one extra crispy fries, cost: $12.86

Crispy French fries

Finally, crispy French fries. 

These were dropped in oil three times. Twice at moderately low 220℉ then at 350℉ to finish.

First to cook the potato through. Removed to a separate container to cool where the potato weeps moisture. Then fried again at moderate heat to dehydrate. Removed again. And finally at regular frying temperature to crisp, and they stay crisp with fluffy interior.

Steak, French fries

Steak cooked for less than one minute in a very hot pan, then flipped, then placed in a heated oven for only a few minutes. 

My favorite part is the pineapple slice and half the steak remains.  I probably double the pineapple for the second half of steak. 

French fries, cheese sauce

The sauce is regular béchamel with red sweet vermouth, chile powder, and with two grated cheeses added off the heat.

Why is cheese added off the heat?

Because the sauce is already brought to a boil and it will not get hotter than that, the starch in the flour in there unraveled as far as it can go. Cheese is already a processed food, boiling it risks it separating. Keeping the cheese under boiling temperature assures against disastrous separation. 

A separated sauce can be fixed, a large batch is not necessarily ruined, but the fix amounts to basically starting over and smoothly incorporating the ruined into the new while whisking as you fix a separated mayonnaise or derivative sauce and that is a rather big pain in the butt.

Sole, green beans, French fries

F of the fs

One two, one two, and trough and through

The annealed blade snapped whip and whap

Impaled twice and slit and sliced

Then dumped into hot fat.

Steak, fries

The steak is cooked the restaurant way, fried in a pan on seriously high heat, briefly on both sides but more briefly on the second, then finished in the oven on moderate heat, which kind of counts for resting but not really, and then rested for real. 

The fries are frozen, and I love those things. They are a perfect solution for when I'm out of regular potatoes.

French fries

Pork chili, French fried potatoes

This is the pork roast that was braised earlier to desiccation. The roast was brined and it released its liquid into the pot to mix with the intense flavors there, cranberries and ginger, so now discs are cut from the dried roast and cooked back in its original liquid. Shredded, it absorbs the liquid like a mop. Flavored with onion and various chiles in vegetable and powder forms. And Man is it hot. 

Meatball, French fries, white beans

White beans. 

* dramatically* The Great White Northern Bean. 

Pressure cooked for an hour with a ham hock.

The ham hock didn't have much meat on it but the meat that it did have on it is sure tastes good. And ham is very different from beef but I don't care. A regular meatloaf has those mixed anyway. 

Ground up dead cow meat mixed mixed with ground up dead pig meat but don't tell the kids it will distress them unnecessarily. That's what usually goes into a usual meatloaf, but not here, this is just a plain ground dead cow meat loaf type meatball.

Meatball. 

The idea is obscene.

Think about what you're doing, People, think about what you're doing.

But delicious. 

Somehow I think this would go down well in Cincinnati. I think they're fond of poutine type heaps of various carbohydrate masses slathered with some kind of thick fat suffused liquid.

I look at a thing like this and think, "needs color." 

French fries

Quick, mix cayenne into catsup.

Oh! Already did that. Determined a long time ago to not have regular catsup around. It's all been adapted. The whole thing. A jug. A Sam's Club jug. A Flintstone's jug. 

I used to have six I'm Perfect cups. Got them for perfect attendance for a year. They give you cup and then you feel like a schmuck for not taking more time off. You know, work the system. Then one by one my cups were stolen from my office. 

By people who were less perfect. 

Or really needed a cup.

They took four umbrellas too, over time, they were so careless with other people's things. 

Bratwurst, homemade mustard sauce, sauerkraut, French fries, tomatoes

This is bratwurst without a bun. 

I forgot to buy mustard. I never made mustard condiment before so I went with instinct. 

The dull light-brown mustard powder scooped out of the bulk spice jars at Whole Foods and brought home then and mixed with plain white vinegar and water turns out to be the best mustard I have ever tasted in my life. It is simply outstanding. A tiny taste confuses at first because sweetness comes across immediately. And then the isothiocyanates kick in and Yoza! right on the side of the tongue arises a horseradish-y burn that is very strong, but without the sinus flush of Chinese mustard or of wasabi or of regular horseradish. I added nothing sweet and no horseradish at all and yet those two flavors come across directly and powerfully and the effect is mesmerizing.

I would say that it tastes like Dijon-style mustard except a lot stronger and better. 

*  Four level tablespoons mustard powder from Whole Foods Bulk spices. 

*  Three tablespoons plain white vinegar. Two tablespoons filtered water. The powder continued to absorb water for an hour or so. Additional filtered water added by the tablespoon until the thickness settled, actually, I am not certain it has completely stopped absorbing. It might need to be thinned again. 

I do not know how mustard from the regular spice rack would work but I am going to go right back there to Whole Foods and get a lot more of this mustard powder and make more of this mustard condiment. I am amazed how well this worked. And do you know what? This is causing me to experience confirmation bias again. I already concluded that food companies convinced a busy and unsuspecting public that their guild  alone are keepers of the alchemy and high science of mustard. Of course it is nonsense and all this time my mustard could have been awesome had I not accepted that bogus message myself. Conversely, had it not worked then it would not have affected my bias one way or the other because that is how confirmation bias works. *smugs* 

I have also uncovered the final mystery of perfect French fries and for this no award bestowed upon me can match my own satisfaction. * smugs again*  These potatoes were parboiled in salted water that was acidified with vinegar and then the fries were frozen. I think the acid toughens the surface of the fries while allowing the interior to blow apart and go fluffy in the final oil fry. These finished fries are what I was aiming for. Firm crisp fried exterior that stayed that way for more than a few minutes out of the oil and soft fluffy interior, the perfect combination of two textural delights. They would be even better had I cut broader fries because when the starchy interior blows apart it really blows apart and these thinly cut fries had hardly any interior to them to blow. Taken together I suppose these extremes, boiling water, acid, freezing, hot oil, are among the most violent treatments that a potato would undergo. 

The sauerkraut is the type that comes in a plastic bag, but only because I did not want to bring home another huge jar. I considered rinsing the sauerkraut. Tasted it. Decided it was not too salty and not overly vinegary but it could use some cracked black pepper and whole fennel seed. It is very good. 

Salted water with cider vinegar added ↑. Boiled lightly for six to eight minutes. Not completely done but almost. 

Frozen ↓.

Fries in oil not shown. 

Frozen fries with a thin ice coating and internal starchy cell structure that is damaged by ice crystals and then dumped into hot oil means a crackling good drama that is rife with danger and the chance of personal harm. A ridiculously oversized pot is used for protection against oil bubbling over onto the burner. But that still leaves the hazard of spilling and for that I can only say to turn in your handles and don't be such a klutz around hot oil. 

French fries

The potatoes in the bin were exceptionally long so I put a few in my basket with no particular immediate purpose. 

The potato is trimmed into an imperfect block.

The potato block is cut into long planks.

The potato planks are cut into boards.

The potato boards are parboiled in water.

The partially cooked potato boards are frozen.

The potato is removed from overnight cell-destroying cryogenic storage. 

Still frozen, the potato sticks are dumped into hot oil.  

The temperature of the oil drops due to being iced by frozen potatoes so the heat is kept on high through the violence. The crackling and popping subsides and the temperature of the oil slowly rises. By the time the temperature rises back to ideal frying temperature the potatoes are pretty much dehydrated and done.

I'm still not completely happy with these. 

You know what I think is part of the problem? Can you imagine picking up your box of McDonald's French fries, taking it over to a table and photographing it from different angles, various camera settings, lighting, moving things in and out of the picture, messing around with available light? Well they tend to go cold, the fries do. But I see no happy answer to the problem of photography before consumption destroying the thing being photographed and consumed. Obviously, if I scarf the French fries while they're hot from the oil then there would be nothing to photograph and I would be unable to pursue my artistic impulses. The answer is two batches, one to be photographed and the other consumed, but profligate handing of food is unacceptable and I'm just not going to do that. Cold fries. See, the sacrifices I make to satisfy compulsion and the internal conflict I accept for ART?