Bean soup, potatoes, croutons

Croutons are a thing I'd rather not do. It's easy enough but they tumble around, there's no way to be organized about it. First this side then that side, then the next and so on. Instead it's toss toss toss and all very random until they're mostly done. 

But they're loaded with butter and crisped with herbs and it always ends up being worth it, one of the best parts of the whole thing, in fact.

The dressing on the bib lettuce is my own, surplus from before. 

A bowl of white northern beans made earlier is thinned with water and provided cooked diced potato et voilà! Bean soup of the very first order. 

The white beans could have been thinned with chicken broth, beef broth, milk, or even cream, but the sauce already has a very nice pork flavor so water is used in order to keep that and I think that choice turned out to be best.

Meatball, French fries, white beans

White beans. 

* dramatically* The Great White Northern Bean. 

Pressure cooked for an hour with a ham hock.

The ham hock didn't have much meat on it but the meat that it did have on it is sure tastes good. And ham is very different from beef but I don't care. A regular meatloaf has those mixed anyway. 

Ground up dead cow meat mixed mixed with ground up dead pig meat but don't tell the kids it will distress them unnecessarily. That's what usually goes into a usual meatloaf, but not here, this is just a plain ground dead cow meat loaf type meatball.

Meatball. 

The idea is obscene.

Think about what you're doing, People, think about what you're doing.

But delicious. 

Somehow I think this would go down well in Cincinnati. I think they're fond of poutine type heaps of various carbohydrate masses slathered with some kind of thick fat suffused liquid.

I look at a thing like this and think, "needs color." 

English muffin

When I discovered the simple wonderment of the pan baked home-produced English muffin and experienced the joy of eating one and my mind settled in on the beauty of them and I became all swept up in the apparent history of it and the sheer perfection of the things and then I immediately thought

of ways to improve it

as I do. 

It occurred to me aged dough would be better. So I started a new batch with just a trace of the yeast so that the whole thing would take all night to become properly started. 

Then take my time the next day. That would age it enough.

And with a little cornmeal this time or maybe semolina, something for coarseness but not too much. 

There are six of them. Two are already in a pan baking stovetop.

How long do you figure they should bake on the stovetop?

How low or high must the heat be in order to take the amount of time you determined they should take to bake?

That's two guesses to make.

I guess ten minutes or so maybe twelve maybe fourteen.

I guess low maybe very low maybe very very low.

Those are my two guesses. 

Our target internal temperature for bread is 200℉ 93℃ thereabouts

Our target external appearance is appealing speckled golden brown both sides. 

Close enough.

And then I realized, yes, these changes do improve perfection, they sure do, but after all that, yesterday and today, without all the egg yolk and all the stupendously rich buttery egg yolky lemony sauce piled up towering on top that goes zing zippy zow woosh all over your mouth, without poached egg and whipped Hollandaise these English muffins just aren't all that. 

I see again why we never hit it off. 

This is how I did it. I don't know what the regular way is. I'm not sure I understand the point. I'm just copying what I noticed. I could have it all wrong. Maybe I had just read a book or a few web pages or YouTube videos, but then the whole time I'd be thinking they're just copying too and my guess is good as anybody's.  

But I learned something else possibly more useful than that.

This is so weird.

I brought home a pineapple and didn't get around to it soon enough. Only half of it was useable, half of it turned. So I cut off large portions. 

Put it in the trash instead of the garbage disposer because I didn't want the thing running a long time.

Mistake, not taking the trash out immediately.

But I'm lazy. I don't do things when I know I must. I just don't. That's not an excuse either, it's my reason. I'm lazy sometimes I simply cannot be arsed. 

Tiny flying bugs hatched, the sized of ground pepper and they vex me. It's my fault, the pineapple, but eh. 

I hate them so.

I would kill them all. All at once, if I could.

I discovered by these muffins they're attracted to active yeast being all actively activated and making carbon dioxide so I fashioned for them their own little yeast trap that offers exactly what they're looking for.

Yeast in a bowl with sugar and water, clingwrap covering the bowl, holes poked with a toothpick and expanded by wiggling just enough so tiny bugs can squeeze in 

but manage somehow, being bugs, to not be able to squeeze out! 

It's a one-way thing.

A fatal attraction.

Eggs Benedict

* English muffins

* Spinach Florentine

* Hollandaise sauce

There's a thing about this you should know that will assure success, that is begin with eggs already warmed in hot water and start with butter already heated to nearly full temperature too. That way it only takes seconds while whisking over steam to cook the egg and thicken the sauce to desired viscosity. 

* poached eggs

* Black Forest ham

Man oh Man this is good. The best I've ever had. 

You know why? Because I've never had English muffins straight off the pan before that's why. All I've ever had are the supermarket types and now I realize what I've been missing. This is a whooole 'nuther ballgame. 

I've already described this as Chip Ahoy in the comments on Althouse.blogspot.com, right in here, and I'm tired of talking about it, so if you care to then go there.  I am so glad the pope Benedict met up with thousands of clowns and was picked up by Drudge and discussed there on Althouse. This is absolutely delicious and each step very easy to do including making English muffins, but there you go again messing a pile of pans and various tools and dishes and such and men generally do not care for that.

Note to self: hire sous-chef 

Win.

Potato cheese soup

TOP SECRET

Level 3 clearance required.

The following file describes instructions for a meal that contains dangerous levels of carbohydrates, the wrong kind of fast carbohydrates that are converted quickly to fuel or stored as body fat. The instructions call for high levels of actual fat as well, animal fat, the kind that is saturated, and all that accompanied with extremely dangerous levels of flavor and satisfaction. These details are not to be released to the general public due to the ease of construction, availability of component resources, and low expense.

bay leaves

fennel seeds

two cloves

Here the potatoes are cooking with flavor. They'd be great all by themselves. They're covered for fifteen minutes on low. Liquid remains, a bit concentrated and a bit thickened by starch from potatoes, and this liquid is added to the soup.

Commercial stock has salt already, even the low sodium type. So does cheese. Because the liquid becomes concentrated no more salt is added. 

Seasonings are started with butter in another pot. The beef liquid added to that to halt the oil heating on spice action. Then enough cream to satisfy a giant cat or any cream lover. 

Not shown: white pepper

Bread made two days ago is still fine.

A carnivore surprise at the bottom of the bowl, torn Black Forest sandwich ham. So now it's beef broth with ham garnish of sorts. 

Not shown:  at last cheese to melt by itself off the heat. 

If you were to serve a mere cup of this or something similar to your guests on a cold winter night to start things off, I would say it would be unforgettable.