egg McMuffin

Egg, ham and cheese slider on potato bread roll. 

My little slider is better than McDonald's egg McMuffin. Yeah, I said it. Mine is better.

Light as air. You smash it to fit in your mouth. And you know that you've got something tender.

McDonald's uses an English muffin, cop out (!), and I use my own toasted potato bread roll, sliced right now. A whole level of excellence greater, by magnitude. 

I have two full size slices of fine sandwich ham folded to fit. Not a single scientifically precisely sized disc. 

My cheese and my ham are both fried for additional Maillard layers of complexity.

Mine uses a whole egg fried lightly in seconds, not homogenized egg mixture poured into a ring the size of their English muffin, and left languishing until rubbery solid.

My sandwich has fresh lettuce and intensely flavored mayonnaise, mustard and cayenne. 

Just look at their sad little thing. And this is the best they can do by their expensive professional food stylists, whose profession it is to make food look better than it tastes. In reality you don't get anything nearly this attractive. But at my place you do. At my place you get what you see, but not so at McDonald's. 

Finally, my sandwich is prepared by a grown adult meticulous in his ways, and on the spot, hot off the grill, while McDonald's sandwich, the real one you get, not the bait-and-switch idealized version shown, is prepared by some disengaged disinterested dummkopf just learning things, in need of a starting wage job, and well in advance of anyone's order, just sitting there under a lamp awaiting some unknown mark with profound hunger such that drives them to a place like McDonald's. 

We scoff at this. We mock the lame effort. It's not even inspiration. We were making these sandwiches before McDonald's even had the flicker of an idea and ended up selling billions to starved innocent unsuspecting road travelers in desperate need of a quick fix, one that's cheap, and not anything close to culinary satisfaction. Do you imagine your egg McMuffin will be served on a slate? Bah.