Pepperoni pizza fail

 

* 1/2 cup warm water

* 1 level teaspoon yeast, quite a lot for this small amount of water

* 1 level teaspoon sugar, fast food for the yeast.

* 1/2 level teaspoon sea salt

* 1 cup bread flour. The weight is the same as water making this 100% hydration

It has already risen to this.

Stretched out by the cardinal points. Except more than four. More like six pulls as if making a Kaiser roll. 

It balloons fairly quickly to this. Usually this is done again but this batch pulled together and self-kneaded quite quickly. 

Not punched down, that's just weird, gently encouraged down then covered top and bottom with semolina powder. 

Simply the most disgusting pizza ever made on earth.

Pepperoni is disgusting. Pre-shredded mozzarella is disgusting. My ersatz tomato paste sauce is disgusting. 

No matter what I do with these poor ingredients the result will be disgusting.

Faith. Commitment. Promise. Henceforth I will never make another pepperoni pizza for the rest of my life. Period. This is the end of it.

In fact, the rest of the pepperoni will be tossed. It's not even a real thing. The rest of the mozzarella will be tossed too. I did not buy that. It was substituted by Instacart. It is awful.

The real shame of this is that I have excellent ingredients on hand each calling out to me throughout to use them. Pineapple! Two of them. Sandwich ham. Good deli stuff too. Jalapeños. Lots of them. The things that I like. Olives. Onions. Garlic. Roasted Hatch chiles. Very good very strong cheeses. Salami that is better than this greasy pepperoni. But I did not use them in order to imitate what most people do. And it is horrible. 

Perfectly horrible.

I struggled with eating one piece. Then struggled with half a second piece. Total waste of time and energy and ingredients. This is one of those times when I hate myself for even trying to be ordinary.

Conclusion: Fail.